by Erin Sund
Your wedding day is a big one, but it doesn't have to be flawless to be deeply meaningful. It's surprisingly easy for even low-key brides to get swept up in drama before their wedding. Fight the urge to be over demanding. Unite friends and family in your joyful celebration by making them feel welcome; you'll be happy you treated others kindly and patiently once wedding mania subsides. Follow these five tips to be a gracious bride, not a Bridezilla.
Don't break the bank. The temptation to overspend when planning a wedding is huge. Everywhere you turn, something beautiful catches your eye and a cunning salesperson is there to convince you that you must have it. Snap out of it! Keep the big picture in mind. Will your day really be ruined if you order simpler bouquets, or serve a family-style meal instead of a multi-course feast? In 50 years, will you remember your loved ones gathering together or the number of beads on your gown?
If you're tempted to blow your budget, consider what it'll be like to spend your first year as a married couple plagued with financial worry. Allow yourself a modest splurge or two, but don't give in to temptation at every turn. Call a practical friend for support when you feel like you're about to have a bridal blackout and blow a rent payment on an accessory.
Treat your bridesmaids kindly. You choose your bridesmaids because they are great friends, not because they'd make fabulous hand maidens. Respect your friends' busy lives when planning wedding festivities. They'll be excited to celebrate with you, and honored you've chosen them to share your big day. However, they won't be thrilled if you ask them to shell out cash for an elaborate destination bridal shower, or ask them to forgo tasteful bridesmaid dresses and wear puffy-sleeved taffeta gowns on your wedding day.
Take care of yourself. Weddings are really stressful and it's easy to get overwrought. You may put pressure on yourself to write the perfect vows, lose weight, craft elaborate handmade centerpieces and find the dress of your dreams. All this stress adds up and inevitably, you become miserable and cranky.
Take a deep breath, and take time for yourself. Exercise regularly to reduce stress (try yoga), eat healthy food and get plenty of rest. Block off time to read a good book or to catch a funny movie in the weeks before your wedding. Spending time on non-wedding activities reminds you that your life is much bigger and richer than this one day.
Ask for your groom's advice. It takes two to get married; you're not in this alone. Grooms sometimes take a back seat in wedding planning. They may feel out of their element, or they may not feel strongly about all the little details. Don’t assume this means your groom doesn't care, or that he doesn't want to contribute. Solicit his input — this is his celebration too. Does he have someone he'd like to specially honor at the ceremony? A favorite song he'd like played? Make sure your wedding reflects both of you, and don't be afraid to ask for his help if you feel overwhelmed.
Be thankful. When you're running around like a crazy person, it's easy to forget to show your gratitude. Throughout your engagement and wedding, make a point of showing your gratitude. Thank your florist. Thank your photographer. Thank the wait staff at your reception venue. Showering others with good tidings spreads cheer that will come back to you in spades.
And of course, don't forget to thank the friends and family who've been there for you — emotionally and financially.
Manage My Life Editor Erin Sund was the maid of honor in two weddings, two weeks apart. Both brides were lovely and low key.
